Chaosa

As I cross the threshold almost accidentally, I immediately feel the change within myself as a primal mood steals over me. The false electric lights have lulled me into forgetting that the only light that my soul connects to is starlight. I feel my senses folding out into the night, as if I have being holding my arms around myself, afraid to accidentally touch someone or even to be seen. Here though, the night stretches out forever and I am connected to it. During the day the wind passes me by, but at this hour, it whispers from the trees and stays near me for company, only straying to carry my thoughts further into the night.

The mood stole over me quietly, unnoticed it until it reached a crescendo. To the watcher, my sudden change in demeanour looked impulsive and surprising, but I would not call it so, the action was so natural, so inevitable that it was more akin to taking my next breath. I closed my eyes and the words appeared without form, written in the dark behind my eyes. They churned and brushed up amongst one another, mixing into a quiet chatter without meaning until a few of them would rise above the others, breaking through the surface tension. The letters flowed through my fingertips to the page, quietly content at having their will made known.

I lie on the surface of the water, its tepid temperature almost impossible to feel on my skin. I feel the sun on my face and do not dwell on my shadow lurking beneath me. Then between one breath and the next my head is submerged, my lungs burn and my eyes water until I let go to the peace of sleep. Before long I find myself lying on the surface of the water and I wonder if I really did or ever will feel anything but the sun on my face and the beat of my tepid heart.